Political Villian

gnostic_poet19 @ 2009-08-27T08:30:00

2009-08-27T12:35:48Z

i got it! i got it i got it i got it! the level of high pitched scene girl SQUEEEEEE that's going off in my head is insane :)

i'm now the daytime chef at Mulberry's Bar & Grill in Elmwood Park. suck on that son!

i knew it'd happen, i knew i'd become a cook if it was the last thing that killed me. i just need shoprite to let me go at the right time, after getting enough experiance, to be in the right place at the right time. i really feel like this time, everything feel into place at the right time. i may be a lil broke right now, cause i gotta wait to get paid, but it'll be the best. i'm excited for work again! hell i'm even more excited than i've ever been for any job. i'm finally doing a la carte! (to order, not buffet style!) i wanna cry and scream and giggle. this is what i've been waiting for. waking up in the nmorning after a busy night and my entire body aches. but waking up with a smile, mind on the prep work for the day. this is ho wi wanna spend the rest of my life. alone or not, it won't matter to me anymore. i've got the most amazing lover waiting for me everyday. her stainless steel refelcting a soft smile in the bright lights of the kitchen. ahhh, coming home smelling of onions, balsamic reduction, and random assortment of cheese fragrance, and not being the least bit bothered by it.

this is it. i know it 200% now. i'm going to be a Chef.

the dawn of new leadership is ahead! change HAS come to America!

2008-11-05T14:33:01Z

we now have our president elect! he is exactly who i voted for, who i wanted to see win and he did! last election i felt jipped, but now it's time! now everyone is ready for change, and even if i don't agree 100% with everything he says, i believe he will bring about change! i'm so proud to be apart of the masses that put him into power. now please please let no one take him from us. when i saw him speak at the democratic campaign in '04 i knew i believe in that man, and it's been a love affair since than. i wish that his skin color wasn't so made such an issue of, but i'm hoping that this is a positive step forward for civil rights and maybe putting a positive image into rednecks and closet racists heads. i'm looking forward to seeing how the next 4 (hopefully 8!) years go. i'm just really happy to be apart of history like this! :D i'm just filled with happiness and overwhelmed. thank goodness!!

President Barack Obama!!! bless him!

truelly a sad day in NE Patriots history...

2008-02-04T04:56:12Z

my men lost tonight...i am so sad.
patriots what the fuck man?!!
of all the games to not win...
all fuckin' season totally consistant in AWESOME-ness and than this..
yeah my heart broke..

my fuckin' team let me down..
they better pull it together for next season or i'll flip!

gnostic_poet19 @ 2007-02-09T02:24:00

2007-02-09T07:43:03Z

My fingertips smell like her.
a memento.
listening to soft boys sing lyrics
my hard heart can't say.

drunk off her kisses.
i'm quite the lush.

it's so late tonight lover.
your safe and warm.
as my mind races.
even with heavy eyelids.

make this a clean execution.
remove this heavy burden called my mind.

lovers pray for insane acts.
love me back.
express love in ways that i can misunderstand.

letting my mind ride the waves back to the past.
when my stomach bunched in knots near her.
flirting wildly.
a mad woman in love with love.

if only i knew.
she was my head on collision.

insecurities arise when stabilty smiles.
rapid eye movements happen while i'm awake.
heavy drum heart beats.
a stuttering fool.

i've never been versed in love dear.
i'm a jill of all trades...
never a master..

chapped lips and nervous hands.
lovers ask for inane acts.

hold me.
give me everything short of the moon
unless you can get a good deal on ebay darling..

screaming in the front of my skull.
only to hear the quiet static of my mind.
so afraid to find comfort in the static.

the rusted wheels turn.
i'm holding you.
your loving me.

i'm still a stuttering fool.

it's late tonight.
and i'm alone, loving you entirely.

your smell at my fingertips.
your memento to me.

i haven't written in forever...words flow like honey, thick with metaphors, yet so rough/slow it kills a writer that begs for it to live.

♥

gnostic_poet19 @ 2006-02-21T18:14:00

2006-02-21T23:16:18Z

i'm making my journal friends only. no one who isn't my real friend needs to read my personal shit.

comment me, and if i want, i'll friend you so you can read it.

much love!
.brandi.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2006-02-17T15:58:00

2006-02-17T21:04:54Z

so i've been thinking alot lately.
it's time i make so edits to my life, friends and otherwise.

people bring way to much shit up into my life.
drama, stress, heartache, annoyances, etc.
i'm not feelin' it anymore.
i've been dealing with it all internally and it's only caused more stress.
but this past weekend i went up to Conn. and hung with Vicki
it felt like someone open up the locked door in my mind.
i could actually be happy.
and i was happy because i wasn't dealing with other people and their bullshit.
i was happy because i was with someone who made me happy
who wasn't dramatic, stressful, annoying, or causing any other strife.

so with that realization, as well as a minor awkward breakdown
i realize people just gotta go.

i am gonna be stopping with alot of people.
but the new people who've come into my life,
make it alot more bearable,
and in fact i can ACTUALLY be a happy person.

thanks to Jon, TJ, Vicki, Allee, Emmee, Tanya (altho ur not really new but we've started talking again lol), and Melissa. you've all made it more bearable, and thanks for tolerating me when i'm carrying on about the people in my life that stress me the fuck out. without you guys (especially Vicki & Allee, no offense but u know how i roll when it comes to family) i wouldn't be able to fuction. i love you guys so much.

i'm happy about this decision.
i'm pretty damn sure i'm sticking with it too.
and i'm also sure, my friends, the real ones, will help me with it.

much love you guys. peace.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2006-02-14T21:48:00

2006-02-15T02:49:22Z

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

gnostic_poet19 @ 2006-01-21T14:20:00

2006-01-21T19:21:24Z

Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating

You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.
You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.

You should major in:

Marketing
Psychology
Desgin
Cognitive Science
Economics
Photography

What Should You Major In?

haha even online quizs are telling me now...hmm i guess i should take hints from the universe eh? haha

UH-OH it's a long entry...can you handle it?

2006-01-02T06:48:03Z

soooooooo it's been a fucking min eh? lemme keep ya updated.

this christmas was the best i've had ever. i finally felt whole in church and it's been a long time since i got that feeling. i know everyone wonders how a gay chick can feel apart of a religion that seemingly condems her, but in my church it isnt like that (it's a reformed catholic church)and i guess when you get that feeling where shit makes sense and you can breathe and smile and feel apart of something bigger then you, you can look over little things because that feeling is unexplainable, it's almost the same feeling i get when i can finally let myself over to the mere beats and music of trance as of lately. trance has made shit feel alot more clear and easier. i can't explain how it does it. but the beats all working and the heaviness of no even needing words to say exactly how you feel, when you can't help but move your body down to every cell and fiber in you because it makes sense. i got that feeling again in church as well. i felt like shouting every word to every hymn, like crying and jumping around to the beat and pulse of understanding in that church. i want to raise up my arms and sway around like a crazy raver kid because even though no one else hears it, i hear every meaning in every pause and breath, the hidden message for me in every hymn and verse from the bible. i wanted to thank G-d for everything. close my eyes, lift my arms up, close my eyes, and scream THANK YOU! i didn't have anything to complain about to omplicate anything it was just me and G-d and i felt right. this past year G-d blessed me with Vicki and i parting but still bumbling around in the dark confusion of my emotions to slam fullf orce right back into one another and i feel the same i did in the beginning and i can't live without her, G-d has blessed my family with Jenn and her sons i finally feel like home, like family. i've NEVER felt like that with anyone before, but they are who i want to stay with where i find honest love and support and i couldn't have asked for a better family. hell when we went into church together i felt as if that was the whole, as if i had been looking adn waiting for this family feeling and now i got it and i could finally fully be whole and thank god for my family, i thank G-d for Kellie because even now almost 5 years later we are still so close and she honestly is the best friend i could have ever asked for even when i get annoyed with her sometimes i know she is the best ever to me and never sugar coats shit and i love her for smacking me around a bit sometimes because i need that shit, i thank G-d for Nogga finding something that would make her happy even if it meant she'd have to be away from me for so long, i even thank G-d for giving me the experiance with Jay because without the heartache iw ould have never grown as a person and learned i need to respect myself more than i had been. i thank G-d for so much and i was happy. this past year was something i'm glad to look back on because it's been a year of growth and i love that.

tonight i had an amazing night, i say Jay tonight for the first time in a really long time, and we all simply went for coffee and hung in Kellie's basement playing Monopoly. but i think it was more the fact that with him when we get together it's as if things never changed. we're still comfortable and we can both just be in silence and understand each other. he can talk to me and call me on my shit and i can do the same. tonight he and i stood outside my house (he dropped us off and allee had already gone inside) for over and hour (mind you in the freezing cold so my toes were numb wheni got in lol) and just talked. about all the drama that had gone on in both our lives, the things that went down between he and i and i got some clarity, much needed if you ask me. i realize i've let alot of drama enter my life and he called me on it because he was like "i've never know you to just stand by and let drama happen to you, you always had a plan of action but now nothing?" and i was like DAYUM BOY! you called me on my shit! haha i couldn't help but laugh and give that lil skinny bitch a hug. i need to cut some things out of my life, and i can't tolerate peoples stress and drama that they've dumped on me. i needed to be able to breath and i'm going to make it happen.

i've loved today, it really did feel like a beginning of a New Year. maybe it won't be i'm not sure but the optomist in me won't let me see it any other way. i love this feeling. maybe it's the trance, maybe it's the elation of the conversation jay and i had, or whatever, but i hope i can keep it.

i love all you guys and thank you for either standing by with no words and letting me do things on my own, or comeing in and helping me with the shit in my life. have a good night and if u read this all thank you. MWA. night daaaaahlin'!!!

I'm An Addict

2005-12-18T19:03:26Z

i quit smoking it i so fucking hard. i'm snippy and agitated. when i see someone smoking i crace to snatch it from them and smoke it. my chest aches for that silvery smoke to roll down my throat fill my lungs and exhale deeply as i finally calm my entire body, soul included. i feel so weak witho ut my will power. i dont want to buckle, but addiction has become me. smoking has tattoed its name deep on every cell and deep inside every inch of my lungs.\

sleepimng is the worst because now i twitch and kick so much that my blankets are all over by the time i wake up. i realize the oral fixation so now i'm chewing a straw because i don't want to gain weight because once this stage of pain and suffering ends i do want to begin exercising so i can loose weight. like ALOT.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-12-05T11:22:00

2005-12-05T16:21:24Z

optomistic, happy, content, comfortable, a smile permantly plastered to my face.

it was amazing,i'm afriad of it getting weird, but i'm riding this wave.
yea i rawk, like whoa.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-11-30T15:42:00

2005-11-30T20:43:31Z

i've come to the conclusion that there are only two men i'd ever really have sex with an enjoy:

and of course:

haha that is all.

mmm god damn thouse two just make my heart flutter my stomach flip and my horomones rage. haha

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-11-16T21:26:00

2005-11-17T02:31:15Z

i'm choking on this feeling that something might start going right.
i want to scream and giggle and smile and dance.
this song makes me feel hopeful.
i like this song.
i love modest mouse.

i need this feeling.

Modest Mouse- Float On
I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-10-31T17:59:00

2005-10-31T22:58:44Z

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

i'm back home u can get me at 201-996-0108 much love. ciao

*EDIT* so after trick or treating with kellie and alee and greg, we went to this lil house party thing, and i had a beer and four shots of blackberry brandy. and i had NOTHING in my stomach, so now i'm feeling mighty warm. i want to call everyone and just be like oh btw this is how i feel. haha. whatev tho. i'm horney.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-10-09T13:58:00

2005-10-09T18:02:51Z

TEAIRRA MARI--No Daddy

[Chorus:]
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya

[Verse 1:]
Been through so much in my life
Seen things in my life
That I never thought I'd make it through
Had a few close calls in my life
That could have ended my life
But I'm here looking at you
Never thought that I'd be here
I'm the type that don't give a damn about rules
I was forced to survive on the streets
Make my own way to eat
Gotta do what I gotta do (Best believe)

[Hook:]
I know plenty of girls like me
That done been through hell just like me
Keep what your mama teach ya
Don't let cheat or deceit defeat ya (Girlfriend)
And all my kickass girls like me
That ain't ever afraid to speak
Next time that they try to treat ya
Like you a freak cuz you street and look good
Tell them

[Chorus:]
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya

[Verse 2:]
No I don't strip in the club
Nor trick in the club
But I got friends that do
So my girls that's getting the dough
The best way they know
Don't hate girl I got you
Even though it ain't me (I understand)
That its real in these streets (I understand)
When it comes to that rent, that whip
That check, ain't nobody gonna protect your neck like you

[Hook:]
I know plenty of girls like me
That done been through hell just like me
Keep what your mama teach ya
Don't let cheat or deceit defeat ya (Girlfriend)
And all my kickass girls like me
That ain't ever afraid to speak
Next time that they try to treat ya
Like you a freak cuz you street and look good
Tell them

[Chorus:]
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya

[Bridge:]
All, all my girls from a broken home
When you're feeling all alone
And you feel you can't go on (call me)
All, all my girls from a broken home
When you're feeling all alone
And you feel you can't go on (call me)

[Hook:]
I know plenty of girls like me
That done been through hell just like me
Keep what your mama teach ya
Don't let cheat or deceit defeat ya (Girlfriend)
And all my kickass girls like me
That ain't ever afraid to speak
Next time that they try to treat ya
Like you a freak cuz you street and look good
Tell them

[Chorus:]
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya
I had no daddy around when I was growing up (huh)
That's why I'm wild and I don't give a (huh)
Ya'll think cuz these jeans fit, I would give it up
Don't let my cute face fool ya

this is now offcially MY SONG! thank you thank. that is all.

I'm falling down And you're not there to break my fall

2005-10-05T14:58:51Z

Thursday--I Am The Killer

Tuesday wakes up silent
And there aren't enough pills to sleep
And then it cuts out like miswired shortwave radio
It's over
But nothing can change to ever make it right
When you live in a nightmare
It's written all over your face.

And in a short time
You're never the same again
The distance is streamlined
Between decision and defense:

Distorient the senses
Loss of identity
No one to trust

Life runs through this trade
I am no killer
But I still hide my face
In the coming days

I wake up every morning
From the same dream
And then I kill it
But you can't change the letters when the ink dries

I woke up on the sidewalk and everything just changed
Now the lights are blinking but I can't see anything

Everything is falling apart:
Crumpled paper
Crushed tin cans
Broken bottles
Paper scraps
We all look the same
We all look the same
But I am the killer

we've moved into the new apartment. i'mm pretty sure we'll be here for our fair chucnk of time. our new number is: 201-996-0108 so if u wanna add that one to the cells it'll be safe to haha. otherwise, shit sucks. ciao.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-09-23T13:38:00

2005-09-23T17:37:34Z

i'm like hella sick!

feels like some has stufed wet clothes in my head cause it's so packed and sloshy that i have these horrible headaches. everytime i sit up or really just move my head quickly i get this blackening pain. my nose is dry when i try to breath but it's all blocked up. and it feels like my chest is on fire everytime i try to breath in deeply. i just all achy. bah! i didnt go to school today but i did convince my mother to still let me go to work. (hey a bitch gotsta make her money!) haha. but afterwards she is forcing me to go with her to the hospital. hopefully i'll get the bestest medicine and then tomorrow i'll be totally healthy for when Jay takes me out and about around NYC. and also for Toma and Nora's wedding. haha. but yea.

*le poop* not feeling so hot. and i just wish Nogga could call me again. she totally made my day yesterday when i got not one but two calls from her. my mother was just as ecstatic. she loves Nogga. and on Nogga's there is quite possibly the most beautiful picture for me. i want to print it out and stare it all the time. but yea. i'm gonna go. MWA. ciao.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-09-20T23:33:00

2005-09-21T03:35:25Z

when i'm not around her it's so easy to make fun of her and hate her.
i'm a secret asshole.

but the second i'm around her i see her tender spots as clear as brown spots on a banana.
she is hurt and all i want to do is make the boo-boo go away.
i feel her pain in my chest and i just want to make her understand she isnt as bad as i even say she is.
hell i felt the same exact pain when he was back and forth with his ex.
now i've become the girl, and she has become me.
i wish she wasn't. i don't want her to hurt like i did.
ever.
i don't wish that on my worst enemies.

i'm a jerk. and jerk with some twisted heart in my chest.
i wish i could figure out myself sometimes.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-09-10T04:07:00

2005-09-10T08:10:04Z

responsibility is a over-bearing bitchy dominatrix.

you asked for her, she's want you wanted. but once you got her your not so sure you can always handle what she dishes out to you.

14/16 hours days are gonna bust my balls this year. getting up at 7am to go to school and get out of school at 2:30 to the at 3 go to work until 10/11 (depending on how busy i am) is kinda hard. and whats worse, is that when i get home, i shower and then spend until at least 1am on the phone with Jay. we're both suffering from it, yet we still somehow manage to find the energy to hang out and also talk on the phone. (he stops by pretty much everynight to hang out, eat dinner with me and help me close and drive me home) i absolutly love spending time with him tho, haha i can't help it the boy's my addiction. haha.

well i gotta do what i gotta do right? haha.

love you all. sorry i've been to busy to call or talk to anyone, hell to even update things. MWA. ciao.

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-09-04T12:47:00

2005-09-04T16:51:21Z

i've locked myself in my room
sprawled out on my floor like a murder victim.
i miss you today more than ever.
love seems to be a hard lead filled rusty blade slashing about lately.
i feel hunted.
your not here for me to run and be safe with.
lieing with you and level my breathing with yours.
i love you so much, you need to come home quickly.
nothing feels safe without you.
i'm not strong.

i'm so weak without you.

They chewed me up & then they spit me out
And I'm not supposed to let it bother me
But maybe I'm a little bit weak
I let my frailty take the wheelhot hot heat

cause i was muthaeffin bored!

2005-09-03T16:43:20Z

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Would beautyinblack be a better ninja or pirate? pirate!!
2) Did beautyinblack break up with you? nope,
3) When did you last call xeroxclusion? haha i've never called him, but it's been a min. since we've talked
4) Is envyforcowards a college student? no, altho he tries to act like it sometimes
5) One thing you can't stand about ma_vivre_poesie? she lives to far away
6) What animal should chaoscontrolsus be combined with? a crazed ninja tiger
7) Does millak smoke? nope, at least i don't think, she plays ball so i doubt it
8) Has pmsoccerg11 dyed their hair? at some point i think she has
9) How would a_gaping_hole conquer the world? flirting with/charming the whole world. everyone would adore her! i know i would! lol
10) Where would xeroxclusion most like to visit? NOT conn. lol
11) Which president would suicidaltears be likely to idolize? none of them
12) Do you think pmsoccerg11 is hot? oh like a wild fire!!! and she'll totally agree!
13) What exotic animal would poisonous_poet like as a pet? lol seeing as she always has lizards and exotic birds then i have no clue, haha.
14) What would you do if beautyinblack died? bawl like a bitch with a skinned knee
15) Would you ever date ocean3unicorn? lol seeing as she on the other coast and already has a wifey then no, haha.
16) What comic book character would suicidaltears be? wonder woman, just the short goth version!
17) What is preludet0death's favorite food? human brains! lol
18) What song/movie would you recommend to poisonous_poet? anything cradle of filth or from the country singer her and her b/f like
19) Does millak know xnoangelx? nope
20) Would you wrestle wanderingdream in jello? oh hellz yea! lol
21) Is reverendyoshi an emo? haha nah, he is a chill intellectual! lol
22) Are ma_vivre_poesie and chaoscontrolsus going steady? haha that'd be the day
23) How many monkeys could max_ofthe_earth fight at once and win against? all, it's all about being deisel baby! haha
24) What languages does frightfulkarma speak? english and i believe he speaks portugese
25) If chaoscontrolsus and eurika27 were siamese twins, where would they be joined? haha maybe seeing as they both love girls, altho i doubt erica would dig the same type lol

i miss you with every breath

2005-09-01T16:08:43Z

SoCo--"She Paints Me Blue"

Tonight I watch the lights go out in your house
Wondering how I could get so deep
And you can still get to sleep
In vain I blame my trembling on the cold air
And I can't hide that I relied on you
Like yellow does on blue

And your my good feeling, I'm kneeling
Inside her room she paints me blue
And you are my reason for breathing
Inside her room she paints me blue

Atlanta started raining on me
And teenage love was underground
Tonight I break the surface
Atlanta started raining on me

And no young girl was claiming me
And naming me
And destiny gets nervous and

And your my good feeling, I'm kneeling
Inside her room she paints me blue
And you are my reason for breathing
Inside her room she paints me blue

And your my good feeling, I'm kneeling
Inside her room she paints me blue
And you are my reason for breathing
Inside her room she paints me blue again

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-08-17T09:32:00

2005-08-17T13:32:57Z

soo i've been a bit of a busy bee, and i havent had time to be on my LJ. I'm totally in love with two boys! haha. here are pictures of them, and u tell me you aren't in love as well!

that's tyler and i on the couch.

and that's brandon. he is my lil gangsta balla boy! haha. (my mini-male clone! haha. i mean come on look at the pics of me at the shore and tell me he doesnt wanna be like me! haha)

there is my thoughtful gagnsta pose! haha.

i was actually thinking there when alee took the pic. (i'm sure you can all guess who about, hmmm, the ocean, listening to incubus. i'll give you one guess!! haha)

so yea. thouse are my two lil lovers! haha (jenn's sons) and i've been so busy hanging with them! and since Jenn works alot i'm taking care of them (at least i know how well i'll play momma when i grow older haha. cause i'm having sons! haha damnit...haha) altho since i've been spoiling them, jay hasd been around and figures he might as well be spoiled too! HA! lol. nah he just happens to come around when i'm cooking food or whatever. lol. good timing he has i swear! haha. so yea needless to say i've been hanging alot with jay too. well i gotta jet, tyler just woke up and he is hungry and i still haven't finished with folding their laundry (i've been up since 7 this morning because i was supposed to go to work but doctor bocksel is sick so i got the day off! w00t! haha) so yea MWA love you all ciao!

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-08-15T12:27:00

2005-08-15T16:31:25Z

it's like baking in the sun working your ass off and then see someone selling icecream and your flat broke.
longing.
fighting every temptation to not just do what you want.
smoke a ciggarette.
take a cold shower..
aggh...

gnostic_poet19 @ 2005-08-10T12:11:00

2005-08-10T16:13:16Z

i need a mani/pedi so desperatly but i am soooo beyond poor right now. i have 10$ to my name right now.

anyone wanna donate to the 'brandi is a poor mofo' fund? lol

well hopefully my interveiw at 2 today shows to be worthy! lol
sexyness.

you rawk my world!

ciao!